I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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