He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
