Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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