I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
you traded sex for a burrito?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
