I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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