I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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