i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
The adults are the big ones right?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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