i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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