The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
