cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Life is so much better after having sex.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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