it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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