I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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