Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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