Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
