To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Randomize
