this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
