Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
There r osticjed everywhere
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
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