I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
