I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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