we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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