I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
