I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
send nudes
from the living room?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
