ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
