Sponge bath it is.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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