Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
