How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
