You can't motorboat a personality
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
