went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
