So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I currently don't understand fingers.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
