She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
