Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
