I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
My dick has a subreddit
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
