I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
