I don't think brook has ever known best
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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