what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
