i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
