i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
