apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
