There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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