fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
