Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.

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(850): View more from Florida

JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.

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(315): View more from New York

Random question, how's your gag reflex these days

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(304): View more from West Virginia

She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments

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(512): View more from Texas

I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.

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(916): View more from California

Sadness tears and throw up everywhere

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(303): View more from Colorado

Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.

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(206): View more from Washington

I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.

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(315): View more from New York

Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.

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