chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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