Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
