In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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