He passed out mid-signature
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
