So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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