I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
