Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
