apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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