EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
